SUGAR HIGH!
by maddy-smile
Summary: Alice finds a box of pixie stix in the kitchen cabinet while she and Bella are home alone. This cannot be good. When the family tries to help, things get bad. Rated T cuz im paranoid. R&R Please!
1. Chapter 1

**WOOHOO! Ok, this is my very first fan fic. I actually got this idea from my friend.**

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**Chapter 1: PIXY STIX!**

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**_l::l_Alice_l::l_**

I was bored.

Very bored.

And you really don't want Alice Cullen bored! I had been alone with Bella for twenty minutes and I was getting restless.

I lay on my stomach on our couch with my feet crossed in the air as I stared at Bella, who was reading a magazine.

"Bella, what do you look for in a guy?" I asked, causing Bella to stare at me, a blank expression on her face.

"Uh, Alice? I'm married. _Married! _And you're sorta freaking me out with that stare…" She broke off as I puffed out a gust of breath, getting a strand of hair out of my face.

"Oh ya. What would you say to getting a cat? OOH! And then we could use it as an experiment and transform it! It would be a vampire cat! OOH! I'd name it Fluffy." I started to ramble until Bella cut me off.

"Hi, yeah… Alice? You're bored, aren't you?" she asked, and sighed as I nodded. "Well why don't you go find something to do?"

"Fine then. I'll just go into the kitchen." I grumbled as I got up and shuffled toward our not- needed kitchen.

I shuffled in, mad at Bella for kicking me out. Our new kitchen wasn't… well... needed, but since Esme and I loved to decorate, we figured: hey. What the hell? Shops in Alaska are really cool!

So I searched through the cabinets, sighing rather loudly every time I opened a cabinet only to find it filled with, well, nothing, since we don't eat.

And then I saw it.

I remember every detail of that beautiful moment.

The box was colorful, with a weird guy standing on the front. Don't ask me how it got here, probably Emmett, stashing it here for some weird future prank. I looked at the label as I pulled out the beautiful box.

A label on the front said very clearly: Pixy Stix. I squealed and grabbed two out of the box. I ran to Bella's side, shoving one in her face.

"Eat. Now. Or die. Your choice." I said, and saw a hint of excitement in her eyes.

"Alice! Do you know what you've found?" She jumped off the couch and grabbed a "Pixy Stick", as it was supposedly called.

"Er, no, is it bad?" I asked, worried now.

"NO! Oh, god, I love these things. Their _pure_ sugar. Whenever I had one-or more, usually more"- she cut short as she saw my look. "Ok, always more- I would get so hyper! Edward saw me in a rampage once, and told me that if he ever caught me- with you- with sugar, he would kill me. He called it a 'sugar high'. Aww, I don't think I should."

"Come on Bella, Esme and Carlisle are shopping- again- and Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and Edward are hunting! They won't be back for a while!" I gave her a puppy dog look. " Pleeeease Bella?"

She nodded slowly, and I squealed and jumped up and down.

I quickly ripped the top of the package and poured it into my mouth. Bella did the same.

The next few hours were a blur…

**_l::l_Emmett_l::l_**

"Wow," I stopped hunting the grizzly that was ahead of me and shivered. The other three walked to me.

"What is it, Emmett?" Edward asked, sarcastic interest in his tone.

"Dude, I just had the strangest feeling, like Alice and Bella are at our house going loopy because of a drastic overload of some form of sugar that none of us knew was in our kitchen cabinet." The other three looked at me like I was crazy. _I _thought I was crazy. Then we all doubled over in laughter.

**_l::l_Esme_l::l_**

"Ohmigosh!" I stopped looking at an adorable top and stared at Carlisle in shock. "We have to get home."

Carlisle jumped up. "Why?" He asked, but very glad to get out of shopping.

"I don't know," I said. "BUT MY ESME SENSES ARE TINGLING! TO THE MERCEDES!"

"Darling, please, just say that you think something is wrong." Carlisle said, putting his hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off.

"NEVER! I REPEAT: TO THE MERCEDES!" Carlisle sighed and followed me out of the store, after stopping to pay for the top, of course.

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**Well… Yeah. Haha. Review! :) **

**~Bella**


	2. Chapter 2

Hello

Hello! Sorry if I sorta, you know, scared you last time, but, you know, when your high on sugar your pretty scary!! Don't worry, I woke up today completely "normal"! So I'll try my hardest to not scare you today! :D

**DICLAIMER****: I, sadly, do not own the awesome book Twilight or any of it's character's. Though I wish I did. **

Chapter 2: Fairies and Pixies

(BPOV)

Alice and I had only had 1 pixy stick each, yet we were bouncing off the walls- well more like crashing _through _them rather than off of them. We then started singing a song, skipping in circles the whole time. We made up a song that went to the tune of Frera Jaca, or however you spell the darned name. We sang it, still crashing through walls as if they weren't there.

_Fairies and pixies,_

_Fairies and pixies,_

_Are what we are,_

'_Cause we're loopy,_

_They are all, evil,_

_We are both loopy,_

_Yes indeed, yes indeed._

After our crazy and somewhat ramdom song was over, Alice stopped short from skipping and I bumped into her, causing the both of us to go tumbling through one of the nearest walls.

"what's the matter, Pixie?" We had both made up nicknames for each other, that's how loopy we were.

"I'm getting low on sugar." She stated, her face falling. And with that, she headed to the box of pixie stix.

"Hm, I have a feeling Emmett will be joining us," an evil smile flashed across her face, "and if he doesn't, we'll use our sugar powers to force him to. So lets split the sticks into three piles." And with that, Alice ripped off al of the tops of her pile and dumped them _all_ in her mouth. I copied, not wanting to get low on my sugar.

"HE HE HE!!" we started to jump up and down, and Alice looked up, her fingure pointed towards the ceiling. "Hey Fairy, I know what we can do." And with that, she looked positively evil.

(Edward POV)

Emmett stormed off while we laughed. We followed him, still laughing to ourselves.

"Emmett, were sorry, but, I mean, that just sounds so impossible." Rosalie laughed.

"And with you being Emmett, it sounds insane." Jasper whispered, much too. Low for Emmett's ear, but just loud enough for mine.

We were standing outside now, and were leaning of our porch rail to keep from falling into the snow. Emmett suddenly lightened up.

"Your right. It does sound impossible." Just as he said this, Carlisle's Mercedes pulled up the driveway, with a crazy looking Esme in the front seat.

(Carlisle POV)

My wife had officially gone nuts. She was sitting in the front seat singing the theme song to "batman", but changing Batman with Esme. It was scaring me. When we pulled up the driveway, she waited until I stopped the car before she yelled: "TO THE INSIDE OF THE HOUSE!"

"Esme, dear, we were going into the house anyway. Don't you think you might be a little bit-um"- She cut me off.

"WHAT CARLISLE? PSYCO? ARE YOU CALLING A MOTHER TRYING TO PROTECT HER KIDS _PSYCO_?!"

She had gotten louder-and scarier- so I scooted towards the door.

"Um, I'm just- going- now" and I ran as fast as I could to the front door.

"Kids, your mother-type-figure is sorta going a little crazy, so we must be supportive of this phase of her life."

"OK" all three said in unison.

Esme then darted through us. She stopped a few inches from the door, and turned toward us.

"COME ON YOU LAZY BUNCH OF CARROTTS!!" she yelled, and we all ran into the house together, the kids and I staying a safe distance away. What we saw when we walked through the doors made my delusional wife faint.

Ohhhh! Cliffie!! Hehe. Now review you lazy bunch of carrots, or ill send Esme to get you! Just kidding. But seriously, Review.

Bella


	3. Chapter 3

**HELLO AGAIN**

**HELLO AGAIN!! Ok, I know I just updated, like, this morning, but there's nothing else to do at my house, sooo, here's chapter 3!**

**Chapter 3: loopy Bella, Alice, and Emmett?**

**(Rosalie POV)**

OMC. We walked into the house behind a completely deranged Esme. I gasped as she fainted. But when I looked up, I could see why.

The house was in ruins. There was an Alice and Bella shaped hole in just about every wall, and the rugs, china, and half of our furniture were destroyed. I heard a sinister cackle and looked up, shocked. And then I screamed.

(Jasper POV)

As soon as we walked into the house, I could sense something was wrong but I could quite put my finger on it. Then, when Rosalie screamed and we all looked up, I could see why. Alice and Bella were both on the ceiling, some form of random suction cups that we had lying around on their hands and feet. That's when I understood. Alice and Bella were hyper. They must have had sugar. That was not good.

Then I saw Emmett's face. He was nervous, backing away from our little group. "What's wrong Emmett?" I asked, a smirk on my face. "Scared of a couple of girls?"

"Um, Jasper? This is Alice and Bella were talking about, and even worse, they had my pixy"- He stopped short.

"What Emmett?" Edward growled, obviously not very happy with having a crazy wife.

"Er, fine, ill tell you. I bought a box of pixy sticks while I was at the store, because I was going to play a prank on you guys somehow. I put the box in the cabinet, 'cause no one ever has to look there, and I guess Alice and Bella found them." He hung his head.

"Wow, that's scary." I said, and everyone looked at me. "Emmett was- _right_!" Before anyone could respond, Bella cut us off.

"IM A FAIRY! LOOK PIXIE I CAN FLY!!" Edward watched in horror as his wife plunged from the ceiling, yelling at the top of her lungs: "I'M FLYIIIIIING!" but she only ended up crashing through the floor and into the basement. Then she came running back up at vampire speed.

"AWESOME JOB FAIRY!!" Alice yelled back, and then suction cupped her way down to the floor.

"WOOHOO!" the girls jumped up and down and ran away.

"Emmett! GO GET MY WIFE BACK!!" Edward roared. Emmett ran to get Bella and Alice calmed down, because he didn't want to face the wrath of both Edward and I. After five minuets, we heard a faint: "EEEEEEKK!" and by the sound of the girly squeal, we knew it was Emmett. Another five minuets passed, and then the three came back, Bella taking up the front. She skipped up to Edward, who looked down at her with an expression of relief. She looked at him, and suddenly he slapped himself. He stared at Bella in udder disbelief, and she caused himself o slap himself again. "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET YOU BLOODSUCKING PARASITE!" she screamed.

"Bella, you're a vampire too." She shook her head.

"No, im a fairy." She said, and skipped away.

Alice came to me next. I was pretty scared. There's no telling what a deranged Alice can do. She just looked at me, a wicked smile on her face. And then I slapped myself! I looked at Bella, a scarier smile on her face.

"HA! YOU'RE WITH THEM!! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET!!" And Emmett was next. He walked up to Rosalie, who took a karate stance.

"Emmett, you know what I can do. Don't make me throw you into a tree again!" Emmett just smiled and gave her a hug.

"I wont let Bella hurt you." He said simply. And then Rosalie also slapped herself. "ILL LET YOU HURT YOURSELF!! IM AN ELF!! HAHAHAHA!"

"Apparently someone had some sugar." Carlisle chuckled. The three then advanced on him. Emmett grabbed Carlisle's legs, and the girls each grabbed one of his arms.

"HEEEEELP MEEEEEE!" he screeched. I chuckled. He sounded kind of like a girl.

Esme then got up. "Where's Carlisle?" she asked.

"When we got in here you fainted then we found Bella and Alice on the ceiling and then Bella flew and then went into the basement and then she and Alice ran away and then Emmett went to go find them and the he joined them and then all three of them came out and Bella made Edward slap himself then she called him a parasite and hen Alice did the same thing only Bella made jasper slap himself and then Emmett came up to me and then he hugged me and then Bella made me slap myself then they all took Carlisle away." Rosalie said all of this very fast and in one sentence, and we all stared at her in udder disbelief.

"Then this. Is. War." Esme said, and we then shifted our focus to her.

**He he! That was a kinda bring chapter to write, but hey, every story's got one, right? Right? Hello? Anyone there?**

_**Alice: I'm here! **_

**Someone who's not a fictional character that's in my head.**

_**Alice: I resent that!**_

**Ya, well, still, at least im not sugar high.**

_**Alice: ya, well you were high on sugar first!**_

**What ever, at least I didn't think I was a pixie.**

**Aaaaanyways, er, REVIEW!**

**Bella**


	4. Chapter 4

Ok, I'm just gonna keep on updating until around noon

Ok, I'm just gonna keep on updating until around noon! I'm bored, that's why. And it's my fanfic, so I can do what I want!

_Alice: What on Earth are you so bored about? Why don't you just go shopping?_

Ok, um, here's the next chapter.

** Chapter 4: War with a deranged Esme**

**(Bella POV)**

Alice, Emmett and I were so deranged, we decided to question Carlisle. He was tied to a chair, Emmett standing behind him, cracking his knuckles occasionally. Alice stood on my right hand side, and I was the main Questioner, the leader, if you will.

I paced, my hands behind my back, my face looking to the ceiling. "I am going to repeat, Doctor Evil, WHERE ARE YOU HIDING THE EVIL MUNTANT BUNNIES?" I asked.

"I-I have n-no c-clue what you're t-talking about!" Carlisle looked scared, and he should have been. While we dragged him off to Alice's closet-we didn't want to use a bedroom, it was too big; however, Alice's closet was the biggest closet, considering all of her clothes- he put up a form of struggle. But with Emmett as psyco as we were, it wasn't a very big one. Carlisle was now missing a shoe, wore ripped clothing, had a bruised eye (ill admit, that one was his fault. He ran into Emmett's chest) and his hair wass sticking out every which-way.

"Oh, don't lie Doctor. If you tell the truth, we wont make your punishment so seveire." Alice said, her eyes narrowing. "you wont want Elf here breaking an arm, do you?"

"Alice, I'm a vampire, you're a vampire. I'm indestructible, as are you." He said, but he shot a worried glance up at Emmett.

"DON'T LIE!! NOW TELL US WHERE THE EVIL MUNTANT BUNNY RABBITS ARE!! AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, TELL US WHERE THE EVIL MUNTANT PARAKEETS AND KITTIES ARE, TOO!" I yelled, and his eyes widened.

"er, fine, there, um, in Edward's room! Yes, and the Parakeets are in Jasper's room!" He looked hopeful, like we'd leave him here alone.

"Ok, thanks for cooperating, Elf, you'll stay here with the Doctor." I said, and headed out of the closet with Alice.

**(Edward POV)**

Esme was seriously starting to scare me. After she declaired war against m deranged siblings and wife, she told us to go to the basement, and there we would sort through our unpacked boxes to find Emmett, Alice, Jasper and my paintguns. Carlisle, Esme and Rosalie Liked to sit and watch, and must I say more about Bella?

We were shifting through boxes when Esme cried "EURIKA!" we all looked at her, and she apologized. "False alarm. I was reading this picture out loud. It's of some guy who's a science geek." We all rolled our eyes and went back to looking.

"I found something!" Rosalie cried. "It's a picture of Eddie over there with Bella at their wedding, awww!" I let out a low growl. She knows I hate it when people call me Eddie.

Finally I found something we could use. "Hey, I found some Camo outfits that we could wear." Rosalie squealed, ran out of the room, and cme back about a minuet later with a pair of shoes in her hand. "The shoes im wearing now would NOT go with my outfit." We all groaned as Jasper pulled out the paintguns.

We changed and headed to the only place they could be:

Alice's closet.

We all knew Alice and Bella better than you think.

When Esme kicked the door in, we heard a cry-Emmett- and we saw Carlisle-tied to a chair??

"IM SAVED!! IM FREE!! YEEEES!!" Carlisle sounded like they had been torturing him, looked like it, too.

"LET MY HUSAND GO!!" Esme screamed like a banshee and started rapily firing at any random thing-Alice would flip- and Emmett held up his hands in surrender.

Jasper grabbed Carlisle's chair and we ran out of the room. We got back to our base…ment (no pun intended)and untied Carlisle. As soon as he was free he ran to a corner, curled up, and started muttering to himself. We walked over to him, and when we did, we could hear what he was saying more clearly.

"muntant bunnies, scary Bella, Muntant canaries, scary alice, muntant kitties, scary Emmett…"

**soooooo, wadda you think? I have the muntant animals at my house. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!! Sorry, IM HIGH IN SUGAR AGAIN!! NOW REVIEW OR I WILL SEND NIBBLES, SQUACK AND MEOW MIX TO COME AND GET YOU!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Bella**

_**Alice: ok, she's gone mad with sugar rush. Ok, ok, I gave her a couple of pixie sticks.**_

**PIXY? PIXY? PIXY'S COME TO TAKE MY COOKIE!!**

_**Alice: Again, sorry.**_


	5. Chapter 5

Ok, im baaack

Ok, im baaack!! I went to a party and got SUGAR HIGH!! Not as bad as Alice, Bella and Emmett, but close enough. Anyways, here's the next chapter.

** Chapter 5: Jazzy's Got Issues**

**(Emmett POV)**

Being sugar high is fun. Especially when it was with Bella and Alice. I mean, for instance, scaring the living crap out of Carlisle. Well, not _living_ crap, because, well, he wasn't living. Fine, scaring the living _existence_ of Carlisle. There, better.

Now Bella and Alice were figuring out who to take down next. They were the masterminds, I was just the brawn.

"We got Doctor Evil down, he was the leader. Now psyco mom is… OH! I say we take Emotional Tamperer down. You know, E.T." Alice had an evil pixie smile on her face.

"Wait, E.T. is Jasper, right pixie? Hee hee. E.T." I laughed, thinking of Jasper as an extra teresstrial. Wow, I shocked myself. I cant believe I knew suck a big word.

"No duh, Elf." Bella hissed back. Sometimes she could be so cruel.

"Well, how are you gonna get him separated by the group?" I asked, Glancing a death stare at Bella.

Alice smiled that little pixie smile again. "Who said we were going to separate him?"

(Esme POV)

"Blondie, you'll take the south side of the house. Jazz hands"- I was cut off by Jasper's whine.

"Can't I have a different name? That one sucks!" His face screwed up in a pout.

"Let me think…no. Anyways, Jazz Hands, north side. Fast dude, you'll attack with me. Oh, and my name is **batmom!**" I was going to talk again, but was then cut off by another sudden outburst by Jasper.

"OMC MOM! YOU ARE LIKE, SO UNFAIR! WHY DO _YOU_ GET THE COOL NAME?" We all stared at him with blank expressions on our faces, and he stared back, hands on his hips. Edward snickered.

"Their using his power against him." He laughed. Jasper suddenly jumped up and down and, yes-god, I never thought I would say this again after the incedent with Emmett- squealed with excitement.

"I WANNA SHOP! NOT STAND AROUND WITH A STUPID NICKNAME AND LOOK FOR A COUPLE OF DERANGED GIRLS AND THEIR BROTHER!" and with that, he had a nervous breakdown and went to join Carlisle.

Ok, ok, I know it's short, but it's late and my dad keeps telling me to get off of the computer. I have the next couple chapters written out, and ill update in the morning. REVIEW! Please.

**Bella**


	6. Stupid author's note

AUTHOR'S NOTE

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Hey hi!! Thanks for the reviews!! Two whole reviews!! Ok, im a little disappointed in you lazy bunch of carrots. I mean, two reviews?? Ok, you'll probably hate me for making this chapter an author's note, but I'm updating as you read! Ha, get it, instead of as we speak? Ha, Ha, ok, ill just continue. All right, let me explain about the incedent with Emmett.

He and the rest of his "siblings" were playing truth or dare, and Alice dared him to be a girl for a week. Luckily this was in the summer. He took the dare very seriously, only not dressing the part, because obviously the clothes wouldn't fit. When Esme had asked if anyone wanted to go shopping with her, Alice-and Emmett, acting like a girl and all- jumped up. Emmett actually squealed and clapped his hands, and everyone busted up laughing, and Alice told him he could stop acting like a girl. He went shopping with them anyways.

**As for Esme's psyconess, lets just say that she had a couple cups of coffee before going shopping with Carlisle, thanks to one of Emmett's pranks.**

**Well, I'm sure that this was boring and a waste of about a minuet of your time. But if you weren't looking to waste your time, you wouldn't be on this website in the first place, would you?**

**Bella**


	7. Chapter 6

All right, look at that

**All right, look at that! Another chapter is up! Thank you for dealing with my author's note. He he. Ok, Here's the next chapter…**

**Chapter 6: And then there was 1…**

**(Alice POV)**

Success! Or so Bella said. Since she inherited each of our powers and one more, the ability to make people do what she wanted by using her mind-well, physically, anyways, she read Esme's mind and saw Jazzy curled into a ball like Carlisle! HA!

Poor Jazzy. I almost felt bad. Almost. But then I had another pixy stick with Emmett and Bella (Emmett had run to the store while the others weren't looking and bought the store out of pixy sticks) and my pity faded.

"And then there was one." Bella stated, and I looked at her, confused.

"But Fairy, there's three." I said, and a wicked smile flashed across her face.

"Blondie could care less, which means Mind-boggler and Psycho-mom are the only two left. And once we take one down, the other will easily follow." I stared at her in utter disbelief. This would take less time than I thought. I thought we were going to have to capture all three.

"So wadda we do to dear old Eddie-boy?" Emmett asked, and Bella's smile grew.

"Here's what we do…"

**(Rosalie POV)**

I was bored. There was nothing to do standing outside of the house… in the snow… in Alaska…. Ok, I was going hunting. I didn't get to finish this morning.

**(Edward POV)**

I was sitting with Esme, listening to Rosalie. She had ditched us. She had gone hunting, leaving Esme and I in a house with three deranged vampires, and two with mental problems _thanks_ to those three deranged vampires! Then Alice's voice popped into my head.

_La, la, la, la, I'm skipping down the stairs._

_La, la, la, la, I'm sitting on the couch._

"Alice is on the couch," I told Esme, and she jumped up. "Wait," I told her, and kept listening.

_Hmmm, I bet Edward is listening to this right now. Hi Eddie! Wazzaaap? Hey, bring Esme when you come to attack us, mkay?_

"She, er, _wants_ both of us to go get her." I said, and Esme's eyes narrowed.

"You stay here, Eddie"-

"STOP CALING ME EDDIE!!"

"You stay here _Eddie_," she put extra emphasis on Eddie so I would get ticked off. "I'll go get Alice."

"Kay, AND DON'T CALL ME EDDIE ANYMORE!!" I said, and sat down, crossing my arms.

"Wish me luck, Eddie." She said, and a smile crossed her face just before she left.

**Aww, Eddie doesn't like being called Eddie! **

_**Edward: DON'T CALL ME EDDIE!**_

**Er, okaaay, um, Anyways, I need your guy's help. I have narrowed it down to a few choices how the girls and Emmett should be stopped.**

**They just run out of sugar-but where's the fun in that?**

**The Volturi get involved- don't worry, no harm shall come to the characters if this happens!**

**The **_**werewolves**_** should get involved- I know their in Alaska, but hey, Jake still has feelings for Bella, right?**

**Or Edward stops them alone- yes, Esme gets caught. And it would be pretty darn hard for just Edward to stop three deranged vampires, wouldn't it?**

**Ok, REVIEW LIKE YOU HAS NEVER REVIEWED BEFORE!! I need your help more than ever!**

**Bella**


	8. Stupid author's note 2

OK loyal readers, please don't kill the writer of this fine story or there will be no ending and you will never find out what

OK loyal readers, please don't kill the writer of this fine story or there will be no ending and you will never find out what happens to Esme. Or if Alice, Bella and Emmett ever get over their sugar rush or if Jasper and Carlisle are forever mentally scarred. And what happened to Rosalie and Edward? Well, you'll never find out if:

**a) you kill me or**

**b) you don't tell me what you think should happen. **

**You see, I have writer's block. I know, it's terrible. All I can do is sit here and write this second horrible author's note telling you that I have writer's block. **

**I am now making this a ransom note. **_**If you ever want to see the end of this story, blah blah blah, you will send me at least five reviews telling me who should be involved in taking down the three deranged vampires, blah blah blah, whether it be the Voulturi, the werewolfs, or some ramdom vampire that I myself made up, or if Edward should save the day or Rosalie should help him, OR if Jasper and Carlisle get over their mental problems and help Edward, blah blah blah. SO REVIEW!! Thank you,**_

_**The author of this story who has writer's block, Bella**_


	9. Chapter 7

All right, I'm not very satisfied with the reviews I got, but I got over my Writer's block-partly- so I can write one more ful

All right, I'm not very satisfied with the reviews I got, but I got over my Writer's block-partly- so I can write one more full chapter. I mean, ok, there were only three and in my ransom note I said I wanted five, but I have allowed three because they were all genious. But I want at lest five more so I could finish this story, but im letting you all off with a warning: Next time I don't get that many reviews, I wont be so generous! Ok, now on with Esme's capture- I mean, the story.

**Chapter 7: Esme's Capture**

**(Alice POV)**

I sat on the couch, smiling evilly to myself. Being sugar high was sorta like being drunk. Half the time you don't know what the hell your doing. This was one of those times. Of course I remember it, and that's the weird part. But I remember every part of what we did, maybe because what we did was hilarious, but it got my credit cards taken away for a month.

Esme came into the room, tumble rolling like she was a secret agent. I had a wicked smile on my face, and I turned my head in a possessed way, and said in a very creepy like voice:

"Helloooo Esme, are you ready to _die_?" she looked at me, and I saw a flicker of fear cross my face, but it disappeared almost as soon as it had come.

"No, are you ready to come off of your sugar high?" she asked, and she raised the paintball gun she was holding higher, so that it was level with me.

"Ha, you actually think that you can beat us?" I asked, and with that, Emmett and Bella stepped out from behind a wall…

**(Bella POV)**

"Ha, you actually think you can beat us?" Alice asked Esme, and then Emmett and I stepped out from behind a wall, the only wall, ironically, that didn't have three gaping holes in it. (Emmett joined in with the crashing through walls thing after he had a healthy dose of sugar) And then Emmett and I raised a couple of squirt guns, and Alice pulled out a can of silly string.

"ONE, TWO, THREE!" I yelled, and Emmett and I squirted Esme with our squirt guns. She staggered Backwards, right into our trap. Alice pulled a string, and Esme was suddenly hanging by her ankles from the ceiling.

"GA!! ALICE, BELLA, AND EMMETT CULLEN, YOU LET ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!" She screamed, with little effect.

"NEVER!!" All three of us yelled in unison, but we did take her down-after Alice had coated her in silly string, and then gagged her and put her in the hall closet.

**(Emmett POV)**

Man, spraying my mother-type-figure with a squirt gun, and then gagging her and putting her in a closet all while your sugar high is _fun_! And the best part was, everyone was taken care of. Well, except Rose and Edward, but I mean, what could they do?

Oh, how I was wrong. What they _couldn't_ they do is mpre like it…

**Ok, I know it's short, but I'm only half over my writer's block! I NEED IDEAS HERE PEOPLE!! PLEASE HELP!! With that being said, I'm not updating until I get at least five reviews. That's right **_**five**_**!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!! You'd better get reviewing!!**

**Bella**


	10. Chapter 8

Hey yall

Hey yall! Ok, I STILL DON'T HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS!! I'm getting restless, so I've decided to leave you lazy bunch of carrots in your carrot dust and continue with my story. Oh, and I'd like to thank the following people for the ideas. You are mot laxy bunches of carrots. You guys are… non-lazy bunches of carrots.

**Shikiangel CerEbolo**

**Darkangel0345**

**And book-lover-girl. Thanks for the great ideas!!**

**Chapter 8: and then the Volturi came…**

**(Edward POV)**

ok, this was getting out of control. I mean, tying Esme up, gagging her, and putting her in a closet?! This was going overboard. I had to do something. Just then Rosalie walked in, wiping her mouth.

"Hey bro, wuz goin on?" she asked, like nothing had happened at all.

"Well, let's rewind for a minuet here, shal we? First, you ditched me and Esme. Then I saw Alice sitting on the couch. Esme went to get her and my wonderful yet sadly deranged Bella and Your freakish and deranged husband Emmett squirted her with squirt guns, causing her to back into a rope which Alice pulled, causing her to hang upside down from her ankles. Alice sprayed her with silly-string and then they gagged her, tied her up, and put her in the hall closet. Now were left here with no leader, all alone, and you just walk in here and ask "Wats up?" I asked, shocked and appauled at my sister but at the same time not.

"No, I believe I asked wuz goin on." She said.

"Oh, whatever, now we need to figure out a way to get these girls-and Emmett- off their sugar high." We sat there for a minuet, and then Rosalie cried:

"THE VOLTURI!!" I looked at her with a vacant expression. "oh, come on Edward, they have to see at least a couple people on sugarhighs every few months. They _must_ know how to stop these three deranged vampires." She said.

"You know what? Were so desperate right now I'm going to say ok. Let's find Carlisle's Address book and see if he has Aro's phone number." And so we looked in Carlisle's pocket. And lo and behold, it was there. We quickly skimmed through it and found his number, under the V's. We took Carlisle's phone and dialed in his number, and on the third ring, their seceratary answered.

"Voulturi, this Giana, how may I help you?" she saked, sounding quite bored.

"Um, er, this is Edward Cullen, and we need to speak to Aro right away." I said.

"Alright, I'll patch you through." She still sounded very bored as she put us through to Aro. He picked up, his voice also sounded very bored.

"This is Aro." He stated into the receiver.

"Hello, Aro? This is Edward Cullen, and we have to ask you something very important." I told him. I immediately heard the drastic change in his voice.

"Edward my dear boy! Hello! What is it that you needed to ask me?"

"Er, OK, this might sound a bit odd, but we would like to ask if you could come to Alaska and help us, um, Ok, let's just say that Bella, Alice and Emmett are high on, er, sugar."

"Oh, dear, this is not good at all. I remember once when Felix got high off of sugar. It was terrifying. We'll be right over." He said, and then hung up.

"Ok," I said, turning to Rosalie, "They're on their way."

"Oh, thank god." Rosalie stated, looking quite releaved.

(Aro-yes, Aro-POV)

Oh, dear lord. I mean, Felix was bad enough, but _three _deranged vampires? And this was Alice, Bella and _Emmett_ we were talking about here. As soon as I hung up I called the whole guard into the room.

"Ok, we're going to the Cullens'. There are three completely sugar high vampires there. You remember Felix? Well, imagine him times three, because it's Alice, Bella and Emmett." At this the whole guard looked panaky, and we then headed out.

(Bella POV)

I remember when the Volturi got there like it was yesterday. Actually, It _was_ yesterday. Now im stuck telling this story to the cops. Yes, the cops. But that, young readers, is for a different time. And by a different time, I mean the end of the story.

Anyways, we were dancing around in a circle hollering like Indians, but no fire since we were, you know, _flammable_. So we had put the fire in the fireplace. Just as we finished our little chant, there was a knock at the door. I went to go and answer it. I opened the door a crack.

"Yes, welcome to McDonalds, how may I help you?" I asked.

"Bella, it's Aro and the Volturi guard." Aro said.

"OH MY CULLEN!! ALICE!! GRAB PSYCHO MOM AND CLOSE RANKS!! RUN UPSTAIRS!! JUMP UT A WINDOW!! LORD HELP"- but I never got to say "us" because at that particular moment Jane decided to torture me. But her plan backfired!! Cause I could block other vampires powers! I only felt a tickle, and I started giggling. "Jane, stop, I can block your power. Would you like to come in?" I asked, and opened the door. Then the mayhem started.

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN!! Oooooh, cliffie!! What will happen? Does the Volturi stop Bella? Will Aro start to go loopy? Ok, no. But one of the gaurds is captured and another is taken over to "the sugar side!" Find out which one after I get 5 reviews! I'm serious this time! It's late and I'm thinking of going to bed!! SO START REVIEWING!!

**Bella**


	11. Chapter 9

Woohoo

Woohoo! Chapter 9! Ok, not as good as chapter 10, but I just want to celabrate. Sooo… WOOHOO!! Hee hee. Ok, here we go.

** Chapter 9**

(Bella POV)

I let the guard in, and we headed to the living room. Aro kept looking at me quite strangely, and I thought I saw Demitri look at me… with, what was that, lust? Wow, I guess getting changed into a vampire must have made me more attractive…

We stepped into the room, and saw Emmett and Alice sitting on the couch, hands folded, looking like angels. Aro's face turned into confusion.

"Sooo, we heard you're a little sugar high?" he asked, and that's when the charade ended.

"WHAT? WHO TOLD YOU? HOW DO YOU KNOW? WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? WHERE AM I? WHO ARE YOU? WHY AM I ASKING THESE QUESTIONS?? WEEEEEE!! He he, sorry, couldn't help it. Would you like some punch?" Alice went crazy and then slowly tuned it down, putting the charade back on.

"Er, we heard you are sugar high, Edward told us, he called us, we're here to help you get off of your high, you're in your house in Alaska, we're the Vulturi guard, and I have no clue why you are asking these questions, in that order." Aro said in one big breath.

"Oh, well, thank you for telling me." Alice said. "CATCH ME IF YOU CAN!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!" that was our cue. All three of us ran up the staircase and into Emmett's room. "Five… four… three… two… and…" and as she said that, a pounding started on the door.

"Cullens!"- whoever it was was cut off by Emmett.

"We prefer the notorious threesome!" He called, and we all suppressed laughter.

"Er, all right, um, Notorious, er, Threesome, this is Demitri, I would like to ask you to step out of the room, or I'm coming in for you!" Demitri called, and Alice replied:

"HA! Please, like you could take on three vampires by yourself!"

"He's not alone…" Jane said, and then I could hear Felix.

"Hurry uuuuup! I want suuuugaaaaar!" he whined, like a three year old.

"Shut UP Felix! Remember last time? We will NEVER give you sugar again!" Jane roared, and I could almost hear him tremble back in terror. After Jane stopped screaming at Felix, the door broke down and the three entered, Felix taking up the rear.

We then sprung. I sprung at Jane, since I was immune to her power, Emmett sprang at Demitri, and the only thing Alice did was offer Felix a Pixy Stick in return for "His loyalty" as she put it. He gladly accepted, downing the stick in less than a second, and then he was bouncing off the walls.

Emmett took Demitri down easily, and I pounced on Jane, knocking her head on the floor, causing a gaping hole to appear, and she gave up. We tied up the two hostigase, and then tried to figure out a nickname for Felix.

"Hmmm, I'm already Pixie, Bella's already Fairy, Emmett's already Elf, sooo, you sould beeeee… SUGARWIZ!" She suddenly exclaimed, "Perfect! It's the combination of Sugar high Dude and Wizard!" She exclaimed again, and then we all agreed. So Felix was one of the Notorious Threesome, well, now Foursome.

Awwww, how cuuute! Sugar Wiz! I lllllike it! What will happen next? Who then joins the hunt to stop the Notorious Foursome? Well, you'll just have to wait and find out. Now review, my pets, review like you've never reviewed before!

**Bella**


	12. Chapter 10

ALL RIGHT

ALL RIGHT!! NOW WE CAN HAVE A PARTY!! Chapter 10 is officially up!! Enjoy you non-reviewing carrots.

Chapter 10- woohoo!

(Edward POV)

Aaaaaw, crap. This is NOT good. At all. In fact, I'm quite scared. Scared of my own wife! How pathetic is that!! Well, Felix has now joined them, so what the hell are we supposed to do now?? I mean, Jane, Felix and Demitri were the only members of the guard Aro brought. And now two of them are captured and one is high on sugar!!

"There's only one thing we can do, and we all know it." I said, and Aro and Rose looked at me. "We need to call…" I said, and they all stared at me in utter disbelief.

"Your right." Aro and Rose said together, understanding at once. "It's the only way." So I took out Bella's cell phone, which I somehow randomly had, and dialed my enemy's number.

CLIFFIE!! But isn't it obvious who he's calling?? Ok, don't kill me. But Wipeout's on! That show is FUNNY! I'll Update soon, maybe, if I get the computer again tonight, if I don't, I probably won't be able to update for a few days. FORGIVE MEEEEEE!! I'll update sooner if you give me some reviews…

Bella


	13. Fillers

Ok, I know I said that I wasn't updating, but I couldn't resist typing this Filler

Ok, I know I said that I wasn't updating, but I couldn't resist typing this Filler.

**Aro brought only three because he thought that it wouldn't be that hard to stop three deranged vampires. He obviously doesn't remember the Felix incedent that well.**

**Ok, Jane tried to use her powers on the other two, but Bella pounced before she could.**

**Demitri is puny compared to Emmett (In my eyes, anyways) so it was easy for him to take Demitri down.**

**Alice randomly had some pixy sticks in her hand, soo, Felix couldn't stand caving in for sugar. And power.**

**Oh, and Rose is just sitting there, enjoying the show, not getting involved for fear of becoming like Esme or Carlisle and Jasper.**

**Well, Thanks! Luv my loyal readers! (metaphorically of course, that would be just gross.) **

**Bella**


	14. Chapter 11

Kay, I couldn't resist

**Kay, I couldn't resist. Here's the next chapter.**

**Chapter 11**

**(Bella POV) **

Screaming like a banshee I tore through the town. Smashing cars and eating people because I had grown to an abnormal size. I saw the High School. _DIE SCHOOL DIE!! _I thought, squishing it and a little algebra teacher.

"Alright Fairy, my turn my turn!" Alice called, and I stepped away from the fun little diorama that we had thrown together to have a little fun. We were sugar high, but we weren't stupid. I mean, if we walked out through town crunching cars and eating people, the people still alive might get suspicious.

Just after she finished squishing the super-market, we all wrinkled our noses. A very fowl stench hit us with full force, and we looked out the window to see none other than a couple of giant wolves. One chocolate brown and one gray **(I think Paul was gray, wasn't he?)**.

"What the hell are those mutts doing here?" Felix asked, looking at us. "Don't hey live in Forks?"

"They do," I choked out. I didn't see the russet colored one, thank god. I then figured it was fine to stay high on sugar and, you know, deal with it. If _he_ were here, I'd use my super fairy powers to kill him. Hee hee. You didn't hear that. Just then the door of our room broke down and Sam and Leah burst through our newly fixed door.

"Hey you hobo! We just used our superpowers to fix that effing door!!" Emmett yelled.

"Ya, well Edward called Jac"- he stopped short when he saw my death glare. I was telepathically telling him that if he mentioned _him_, that I'd do what we did to Esme, only 1,000 times worse. "I mean, our Beta, that there was something seriously wrong with you guys. And so Beta told us, and we came right over, Bella snap out of it, or we'll shred you four apart and put you back together and then tie you to a post." Sam said, his tone quite serious.

"You know what, Sam?" I asked, my voice quite harsh. "If you don't leave right now, we'll- actually, we'll do it right now. I don't care. You can send this back to _him._" I said, and all four of us approached Sam and Leah, who exploded into giant mutts. We took then down easily, I mean, two against one on either one of them? Impossible to beat. So we then tied them up to chairs and continued our little smashing spree, acting as if there were no interruptions.

**All right, there you go. For you Jacob fans, he was mentioned. For you Jacob **_**haters**_** like me, he didn't show up. Hope you're happy that the werewolves were caught. If not, sorry. A couple more chapters left, guys! Stay with me that long!! Please!! It gets better!! I know it slows down, but still, it's the middle of the night!! Please keep reading!!**

**Bella**


	15. Chapter 12

Mmmmkaaaaay, here's the next chapter people

Mmmmkaaaaay, here's the next chapter people. VERY random. I mean VERY random. Ok, on with your reading.

** Chapter 12: SSHVS**

**(Edward POV) **

Ok, this is getting out of hand. I mean, seriously not even the mutant PUPPIES could stop them! Ok, this called for drastic measures. I mean, I knew I was going to have to call them sooner or later, but not _this_ soon! And definitely not for my _wife_!! I looked over at Carlisle and relised he was awake, and Jasper just beginning to come too, also. I walked over to them, and spoke to Carlisle.

"I need your address book. I'm calling SSHVS." I said, and I saw his eyes widen.

"You mean the same SSHVS that came when…" He trailed off when I nodded my head.

"It's the only way. They can handle almost any situation." Carlisle nodded and handed me his book. I looked at the number and pulled out Bella's phone, which I somehow randomly had again, and quickly dialed in the number. After the second ring, a voice answered.

"Sophie the Sugar High Vampire Slayer, don't let the name fool you. We don't slay them just stop them from mentally scarring you for the rest of eternity. We also do birthdays and other gatherings." The voice was high and full of fake happiness, and I could tell that she got paid _a lot_ for her small service.

"Lisa" a name you think would fit a secretary, isn't it? "This is Edward Cullen, and I really really really need Sophie to come and help us, my wife, Alice, _and _Emmett have had a frighteningly large amount of sugar, and they've even captured two members of the Volturi guard, given the other sugar and had him join them, and captured- How many? - Like, two werewolves. We NEED Sophie to get over here ASAP!!" my voice was full of panic, and it made me angry that she could seem so calm when she answered.

I heard a pop on the other end of the line, obviously bubble gum. "Edward, sweetie! How nice to hear from you again! So Emmett again, huh? And Alice, too? Oooooooo! And you got married! Congratulations! Im so sorry I didn't know, I would have sent you a muffin basket or something." Oooookaaay, quite random there. " You're in luck. Sophie's free today. I just sent her over. She'll be there in about a minuet."

"Thanks Lisa. Bye." I said, and hung up the phone. "She'll be here soon." I told everyone, and everyone exhaled in a sigh of relief.

(Carlisle POV)

Aaaaahh, the satisfaction of coming out of a mental breakdown. And just in time, too!

"So she's coming?" I asked Edward, and he shook his head. Jasper then spoke, and we all turned to look at him.

(Jasper POV)

Oh thank the lord almighty up in the fabulous heaven that I now believe is actually there!!** (AN: I have **_**no clue**_** if the Cullens were really religious.)**I was FREE of that devil coma like mental breakdown! But I was a little confused.

"Sooooo, what actually _happened_ while I was in a coma like mental breakdown?" I asked, and Rosalie stepped forward and said everything in one big sentence.

"Ok, so after you guys went into coma mode I had to secure the perimeter by myself so I just quit and went hunting and then they captured Esme and then we called the Volturi hence Aro" Aro smiled and waved, I smiled and waved back. "But that didn't work cuz Jane and Demitri got captured and they bribed Felix with candy and pulled him over to the sugar side and then we called the mutant puppies and then Sam and Leah got captured and then you and Carlisle woke up and then we called Sophie yes Sophie the same Sophie that came to save us from the terror that is Emmett and she should be here in three two one." Just as she sucked in a large breath the doorbell rang, and we heard Bella prance down the stairs to get it.

WOOHOO! RANDOM!! Told you it was quite random. The next chapter introduces the terror that is SOPHIE THE SUGAR HIGH VAMPIRE SLAYER!! -Insert creepy ghost music here- MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Be afraid be veeeeeeery afraid!! Heh heh… keep reading and REVIEW!!

**Love always, Bella**


	16. Chapter 13

Du du du duuuuuun

Du du du duuuuuun! Here is the next chapter!! Sophie will be introduced! And havoc will fly in the Cullen household!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! This ought to be fun.

** Chapter 13 I think: Sophie arrives**

**(Bella POV)**

Emmett, Alice, Felix and I were all dancing in Alice's room to I Want Candy by whoever it's by, when the doorbell rang. I was mad that we had been disturbed, so I ran to answer it. I opened the door and my eyes fell onto an adorable 13-year-old girl with strawberry blonde hair, freckles, and the strangest color eyes. Were those topazes? Why did they look so familiar? But I didn't care. She was just so darn cute!

"Why hello there cutie pie!" I said, and bent down so I was eye level with her. "How can I help you?"

"Um, is Edwad Cullen hea'?" she asked in the cutest English accent. "He bought some cookies from muy gel scout troup and I was told to bring 'em heer." I nodded at her and stood up.

"Yes. He's in the basement. You go left, left, left, right, left, right, left, and it's the fourth room down." I said.

"Um, ma'am? It louks like tha's only one hallway in the house." The girl said, but shrugged and headed to the basement. I skipped back up the stairs.

(Jasper POV)

Oh my god. I was so freaking glad that Sophie was coming. If she couldn't help us, we were doomed. I was sitting on an old pile of boxes when she scuffled down the stairs. I ran to her and scooped her up in a hug.

"Oh my god Sophie thank you so much for coming we were afraid for a while there that we were doomed! You have to help us!" OK, I know I was over excited a bit, but hey, how else are you supposed to act when _Alice_ is high on sugar? She's scary enough sometimes as it is when she's normal!

"Jaspa, I can't help yu if yu don't let go of me." She said. I let her go, and she sat down and pulled out a blueprint of the house.

"Ok, lets git down tu business." She said. "Yu Jaspa, yu take the take the left side of the house wif Rousalie. Aro, yu take the right side wif Carlisle. Edwad, yu a wif me. So is Esme, as sun as we git 'er out of that god fo' saken close't. Yu guys know wolfies, righ'?" Edward nodded, but looked and felt very angry. "Call 'em. Call 'em all. I don't ca' wa' deffrences yu 'ave, just call 'em. Git them _all_ down 'eer. Go' it?" she asked Edward. He nodded and pulled out his phone. Man, for a thirteen year old she's diabolical. But then again, for a two _hundred _and thirteen vampire, I hope she is.

(Jacob POV)

_Back in La Push…_

My phone started ringing so I looked at the caller I.D. Huh; it's the bloodsucker again. I answered.

"'Sup leech?" I asked.

"Don't mess wif me yu pup." A girl's English accent came from the other line.

"Who he hell is this?" I asked.

"Edwad di'int want tu call yu so I vulentead." The girl said. "'vis is Sophie. I run a business that helps vampias whu a' high on suga' and I bring them back tu Earth. I am two hundred an' firteen, and if yu don't get yo furry li'l ass down 'ere I'll come and get yu myself. I've dealt wif pups like yu before and ill do I' again." Wow, was she Australian or English? It was sorta hard to tell.

"Are you Australian or English?" I asked.

"I'm Sco'ish, English, French, Australian, and a mixture of a bunch o' ova fings yu cu'nt emagin. Now git yo ass down 'ere!" And the line went dead. I shrugged and left, headed to Bella's house.

(Edward POV)

Sophie hung up the phone and turned to us.

"The mutan' pup is on the way." she said. I sniggered at the name.

"Ok." I said. About ten or fifteen minuets later there was a knock on the door again. Bella once again pranced down the stairs…

Oooooooo… Cliffie. Heh heh. Ok, I know that might not be what an English accent sounds like, but hey! You try writing out an English accent! I like Sophie. She rox. I like her attitude. Now git yo li'l asses reviewing o' I'll send Sophie to cum git yu! Heh heh. Just kidding, but seriously. Review.

Bella


	17. Chapter 14

Hello

**Hello. Im on chapter 14. wow. I never imagined that my story would be this long. Amazering. Anyways… ON WITH THE CHAPTER!! The chapter title is just a random thing I thought of. Heh heh.**

** Chapter 14: Sophie kicked Jacob's **_**ass!**_

**(Bella POV)**

There I was, dancing to I Want Candy with the Notorious foursome, or whatever weird name Emmett had come up with for us, when another nock came at the door. I was now pissed. That was twice now I had to stop dancing. But I put on my best face and skipped down the stairs and opened the door. And _he_ was there. My bad mood got worse and I didn't hide my anger this time.

"I hate you go away." I said, and stuck my tong out at him like a five year old.

"Bells please." _He_ said. "I just came to talk to Edward." Now this caught me offgaurd.

"Wait, you, a lowlife, useless, selfish mutant mutt want to talk to Edward?" I asked, not showing any hint of emotion besides pure shock, and I didn't feel sorry when he winced.

"Umm, yes." He said.

"Ok. You walk down here and go left, left, right, left, right, left, left, right, right, left." I said, moving my hands to show him. "Fourth hallway, fifteenth room down, but the sixth door."

"Bells, this house only has, what one or two hall ways." He just shook his head and walked away. I skipped back up the stairs, after dis-connecting the doorbell and chaining the door shut and putting up caution tape and a big sign that said: OUT OF BUSINESS, KEEP OUT, AND DO NOT DISTURB THE DANCING PEOPLE UPSTAIRS. I wanted to make sure that I wasn't stopped from dancing again.

**(Jacob POV)**

I walked down the only hallway in the house and went through the door labeled: BASEMENT: SUGAR HIGH VAMPIRES STAY OUT. It was sorta impossible to miss. As soon as I walked in I said:

"The others are outside. Oh, and I wanna see this two hundred some-odd year old vampire that says she can kick my ass."

"Nice to see you too, mutt." Edward said. "And Sophie's right here." He gestured to a little girl cowering behind him.

"I- I- I di'int know yu was so big." She said, slowly straightening up and walking to me. "I'm Surry I sed I cud kick yo' ass." She said. And I smiled.

"It's ok. You didn't know I could squish you like a bug at any moment." I said, and then it all happened very fast. She kicked me in the gut, hard. I leaned over, caught my breath, but when I looked back up, I was on the floor, her sitting on top of me with one hand behind my back, like one of those criminals you see on cop shows. A triumphant smile spread across her face and she leaned down and whispered in my ear:

"I am not Surry I sed I cud kick yur ass, cuz I can and this pruves it. Hell, ill even give yu a second chance so yur ready so I can pruv it tu yu. If yu want tu of course. Like I sed: I've been around a long time and have" the Australian part of her accent kicked in. "encounte'd much biiga, fasta, and stonga wolfies than yu. I've even fought full packs wif just me and a few friends. Li'l defenseless kid my ass. I even 'ave a powa. My powa is almost the same as Bella. I'm a telacene'ic, bu' I can do much mo'. Fo' instance: I can yuse my opponen's strength, powa, esedera agens' 'im. Bu' fo yo sake, ill not use my powa, jus' tu make it even." I got up and nodded.

Rosalie stood with a scarf above her head, and waved it down. I sprong at Sophie, but she wasn't there. I turned, and my eyes fell on her, standing five feet away, a smirk on her face. I waited this time for her to make a move, but she never did. She just stood there, a big goofy grin on her face, taunting me. So I sprang. And she dodged. Finally I couldn't contain my anger anymore… I burst into wolf form. But it really didn't do anything to make her scared, and that just ticked me off even more.

**(Edward POV)**

I watched as Sophie just kept dodging Jacob's springs. Jacob was still in human form. Then he started trembling. But Sophie WAS an expert, so I just let it go… until Jacob burst into a giant hairball. But Sophie was completely calm, the exact opposite of fur ball over there, gotta tell ya. Then he sprang one last time and Sophie's next move was blinding, so fast that I barely caught it myself. She grabbed Jacob's arm when he passed her, twisted it behind his back, and slammed him to the floor.

We all started rolling on the floor in laughter as Jacob went back to normal. Then Sophie was abruptly serious.

"Let's go get Esme."

**How ill they get Esme? Will Jacob get revenge? Find out in about two hours at the most because my lamo sister is pestering me to get off the computer so she can "Have her turn on the internet"… -sigh- see you soon!**

**Bella**


	18. Chapter 15

**Ok, don't kill me. I know I said like, two hours, but as soon as I started typing, my dad said we had to go back to the old house (We're moving) and he sneakily left the computer at the new house so I wouldn't be able to type and go online and stuff. Don't worry, I already yelled at him a bit. But hey! NEXT CHAPTER!!**

**Chapter 15: Getting back Esme, and "stuff"**

**(Jacob POV)**

Oh. My. God. I can_not_ believe that a thirteen year old kicked my ass!! Ugh, this makes me mad.

"Let's go get Esme." The little monster said after she stood up. We then somehow went into a stealth mode type thing. Sophie, Edward and I all opened the door quietly. Not that it was really necessary, of course, because we could hear the fifth re-rerun of I Want Candy blaring upstairs. Poor Sam. I don't feel real sorry for Leah.

We walked to the hall closet, not bothering to be real quiet, and opened the door.

"Dammit." Sophie mumbled. "This is great. Now wa' a' we suppose tu du?" she asked, obviously a rhetorical question. "All tell yu wa' we're gunna du. We're gunna go upsta's and ge' Esme back. Tha's wa'." She said. Edward gulped.

"What's wrong Eddie? Scared of a couple of girls?" I asked, a smirk on my face.

"No. I'm afraid of my sugar high wife and sister, brother, and member of the Volturi guard." Edward said. "All the while blaring I Want Candy, smashing a miniature diorama, and who-knows-what to Esme, Sam, Leah, Jane, and Demitri." Now it was my turn to gulp.

"They captured that many people?" I asked.

"Yup." Edward said.

"Wow. Now I'm pretty scared myself." I stated.

We crept up the stairs, holding our paint guns as if our lives depended on it. And by what I've heard, I think our sanity did.

**(Demitri POV)**

TORTURE!! THAT'S WHAT IT WAS!! TORTURE!! Five times. I had to listen to that dreadful song FIVE TIMES!! IMAGINE!! I am still twitchy just thinking about it. I am scarred for life.

**(Jane POV)**

And I thought my power was torture. God was I wrong.

**(I'm gonna try a dual POV!! Sam **_**AND**_** Leah)**

**S: **Oh god.

**L: **Sam, can you hear me?

**S: **Just barely.

**L: **Same here.

**S:** I swear if I ever get out of this alive, we are never giving pixy sticks to vampires again.

**L:** You've done it before?

**S: **It was Embry. Jared dared him to do it.

**L:** Ahhhhh.

**S: **Yup. Embry said it was scary stuff, but I never imagined it to be this scary! He gave some to Emmett.

**L:** Second worse compared to Alice.

**(Esme POV)**

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting for someone to come save me from this hell we call Emmett's room. And then my prayers were answered. Just as the song from hell came on for the sixth time, a paintball shot out and hit the stereo. Then three more followed, until the music stopped. Edward, Sophie (God, didn't think I would see her for another ten years at least!) and that mutt Jacob came through the door, and started pelting the four deranged vampires with paintballs. Then, while Jacob and Sophie continued to pelt them with colors, Edward ran over and grabbed my chair. He then ran me out of the room with the other two, the other prisoners yelling profanities at us for not saving them all the way.

**Short, I know. What do you think of the dual chapter? Good, bad, weird? Your opinion? If I get enough I might do some more. Review, review, review! Click the button! Click it. You know you want to…**

**Bella**


	19. Chapter 16

Chapter 15

**Chapter 16!! WOOHOO!! Last chapter unless you want me to write more, and gotta tell you, sorta lame ending.**

** Chapter 16: War**

**(Alice POV)**

Those meanie heads. Ruin our fun and break Edward's stereo. I thought.

"WHAT??"

Oh, crap, better control my thoughts better. Hmm, song, song, song, OH! I'll go out of my comfort zone today, try something a little different. How about…

**(Edward POV)**

What the hell? What is Alice singing? I didn't know she knew country songs! That's odd.

"She's singing Picture to Burn by Taylor Swift in her head. She even introduced it formally with a title and everything! They're planning something." I said.

"AAAAAAHHH!!" Aro screamed.

"WHAT!!" We all yelled at the same time.

"Such bad memories with that song… such scary… scary…" Sophie walked up to the now twitching Aro and slapped him across the face.

"Ge' a grip, mate!" she yelled, and Aro looked at her like she was the bravest girl he knew. "All righ' now it's time for plan GTGTUOTP."

"What?"

"Huh?"

"Ok, I lost you at G"

We all looked quite confused. And so she sighed and explained. "Ge' the group ou' on the pilla's." she said. "Here's wa' were gonna do. Jake, yu and the ofa mutant pups stand guard outside on the backside and the front side of the house. Edwad you and Esme a' wif me. Jaspa, like I sed yu'r on the left side of the house wif Rousalie. Carlisle yur wif Aro on the right. Le's go." And we did. Jasper and Rosalie ran off to the left side of the house, Aro and Carlisle to the right, and the mutt left and took his position in the front. After checking to make sure that everyone was in their spots, Esme, Sophie and I grabbed our paint guns and headed out.

**(Jane POV)**

"EAT IT!!" Man, and I thought Heidi could scream. Alice was standing in front of my with a strawberry pixy stick, holding it to my mouth.

"No, Alice." I said. Bella was protecting them from my power. I didn't even know that was a power!

"You really should Jane." Bella said, with an evil glint in her eye that looked surprisingly like mine. "We wouldn't want to hurt you." She walked up to me and tilted my head back. Emmett was standing there, cracking his knuckles.

"What would you do to me?" I asked, showing no fear. First rule in being evil. Second rule in being captured. I was both right now.

"See this watermelon?" Alice asked, holding one up.

"Where the hell did you get that?" I asked.

"None of your business. Now, watch Emmett." And in the blink on an eye, she kicked the leg of my chair, tilting me back, catched me, and turned me to face Emmett.

Emmett took the watermelon and squished it in his hand, seeming to make no effort.

I opened my mouth to speak, but Alice was faster. She had ripped open the pixie stick, and as I opened my mouth, tilted my head back and poured it in.

Being sugar high was awesome. At first nothing happened. Then it really kicked in. I started to get hyper, until I was practically jumping out of my chair. Alice, Bella, Emmett and Felix, who surprisingly hardly ever said anything, all smiled at each other.

**(Esme POV)**

I looked through the keyhole of Emmett's room, and I laughed. Jane was jumping around to some song with Alice; I couldn't tell what it was… I think it was some song by Taylor Swift. Man, Bella was obsessed with that girl, and I think Felix and Emmett were in love with her, or worshiping her, it was hard to tell the difference. (I think they were worshiping, I mean, they _were_ bowing down to a picture of her. But then again, Bella was standing over them watching them bow. It was sorta creepy.) Sophie signaled for us to open the door, and I did. She slowly walked in.

"'Ello miss." She said, looking at Bella.

"Hi sweetie." Bella said.

"Erm, I was wonderin' if um, I could join yu." She asked.

"Ohhh. Of course! Here, all you have to do is eat a pixy stick." Bella said, and handed her one.

"BELLA!" Emmett screamed suddenly. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO THAT IS?" Damn, I thought he forgot.

"Erm, No." Bella said.

"That's Sophie the sugar high vampire slayer. She stopped me from being sugar high. It scarred me for life." He started twitching.

"Aaaww. Emme', why yu go' tu spoil all my fun, eh?" She asked, and pulled out her paint gun. Edward and I walked in. Then, before anyone could say or do anything, Edward and I ran and untied Sam, Leah, and Demitri and gave the paint guns. We all stood there, and the four, now five, started running.

But they didn't make it past the front door. Jacob blocked it, so when Bella opened the door, she ran straight into him. He grabbed her arms and held them like she was a criminal. She started snapping ferociously, trying to get to him, and it sorta scared me.

"Nice to see ya again, Bells." Was all he said as he wrapped her to one of he pillars that supported the house.

Alice, as soon as she saw Jacob, ran the other way, only to be met by Paul. He did the same exact thing, only he _did_ get bit in the process. But not too badly, and his wound healed fast.

Emmett tried to run out of the left side of the house, but as soon as he busted through my wall- ill have to kill him for that later- Rosalie stood in front of him.

"Hey Emmett." She said, and wrapped her arms around his waist. He sighed and gave up, allowing her to tie him to a post. She kissed him, which made Jasper gag.

Jane ran out the right side of the house- god, I wanted to scream my head off!- but Aro was there. She also sighed and got tied up.

Felix took a different approach. He climbed up the wall and out the roof. Crap, I thought. The roof. But Sophie was prepared. She climbed up and out, faster and swifter than I would have thought possible, and was on the roof with Felix. They stood facing each other, and then Sophie said:

"Yu know, Felix, I kicked a wolfies ass, I wonder if I cud kick yurs?"

"Hell no." was Felix's only response.

"Le's just see then." She said, and gestured for him to climb off the roof. I was nearly chewing my nails in anticipation.

"No one touch 'im. 'e's mine." Sophie said.

"Ha." Was all Felix said again.

They circled each other, never moving their eyes.

"Go Felix!"

"Kick his ass. Bloodsucker!"

"Come on Felix, she's only thirteen!"

"Actually, she's one hundred and thirteen."

"Whatever, she can still beat Felix."

"Twenty bucks?"

"You're on, bloodsucker.

"Actually, I prefer Jasper, and aren't you supposed to be on our side, pup?"

"Jared, and yes, but that doesn't mean I know who will win."

By this time, Felix had sprung at Sophie, who had gracefully moved out of the way. Sophie, being part telekinetic, forced him to stay put as she walked up to Felix and tied his hands behind his back, and then dragged him to the nearest pillar and tied him up with the others. After she allowed him to move again, the profanities and complaints started. Sophie just walked inside the house, the others following. The wolves stayed outside, not wanting to go inside the house of their mortal enemies, at least, not if they didn't have to.

**(No one in particular POV)**

The group sat up during the night, since, you know, they couldn't sleep, and in the morning went outside to check up on the sugar high people. All of them were looking like they had very bad hangovers.

Edward walked cautiously up to Bella.

"Erm, Bella, do you remember me?" He asked, very cautiously, his hands flinging in front of his face as if to protect him from a horror in front of him.

"Yes, love. You're Edward, my vampire husband, and I'm your vampire wife." She said, looking at him with a sad smile on her face. "Please forgive me for hurting you. IT WAS ALL ALICE'S IDEA!! SHE FORCED ME TO DO IT!!" And at that, she started struggling to get free of the ropes. Edward let her out, but held her hand firmly as they walked toward Alice.

Jasper was there, too scared to talk to Alice. Edward and Bella rolled their eyes and walked up to Alice, dragging Jasper behind them.

"Jazzy, I'm so sorry. I was just hyped up on sugar. Please forgive me for putting you in that mental breakdown and stuff. I hurt you, and I'm sorry." She did look sincere, and so Jasper untied her and gave her a hug. Rose was already making out with Emmett, and so they just skipped right over to Felix.

"Felix is doing well, but not as well as you three." Carlisle said, as if talking about a major accident had happened. And sure enough, there was Felix, still a little hyped up.

"JANEY!! HOW ARE YOU!! WOOHOO!! Ok, I'm done, now just let me kill Sophie." He said.

"No." Aro said firmly, and when Felix sighed and nodded, the group untied him.

"Well, looks like my work he'a is done, so I'll see ya la'er. Emme'. I know I'll be back soon." Sophie said, and she left. Just like that. Everyone looked around in shock at how fast she left.

"See ya Bells." Jacob said, popping out of nowhere and giving Bella a quick hug and then ran off with the other wolves. Bella looked after them, tears in her eyes, glad Jacob had left so quickly. Then the Volturi silently slipped away. And then the Cullens were alone. They silently walked into the house, and they started laughing.

**See?? What did I tell you! Quite lame! If you want me to write more, just tell me. But FYI, I'll probably need some help on what to write about… heh heh.**

**Bella**


	20. Chapter 16 doover

-

_**READ THIS!! IT IS CRUCIAL!!**_

**hi! How many of you didn't like my last ending? Come on… be honest… there are some hands! Well, I didn't like it either, so, here is my remake of the final chapter. Renesmee pops in randomly, just so you know… and I needed something new for Jane's gonna make out with Felix. Heh.**

**Ch. 16: War- revised**

**(Alice's POV)**

those meanie heads. Ruin our fun by stealing back Esme and breaking Edward's very expensive sterio. Heh, ok, that last one was a bit funny.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY??"

oh yeah, mind reader. Ok… song, song, song… I GOT IT!!

**(Edward POV)**

What the hell is Alice singing?? I didn't know she knew country!! Now _that _is odd.

"What is she doing?" Esme asked as we untied her.

"Singing 'We Weren't Crazy' by Josh Gracin."

"Odd."

"Yeah, especially because they are."

"DADDY!!" Nessie suddenly popped out of nowhere.

"Who the hell are you?" Aro asked

"Oh, you remember Renesmee, from that time you wanted to kill her?" I asked. "The stupid author didn't put her in this story because she was too lazy to want to re-write the whole thing so she randomly put her in the story in the last chapter."

"Ahhh, I see, I see." Aro said.

"All righ', now eef yu tu wooses a' done wif dis li'l reunion, we gots a few vampia's to take down." Sophie interrupted. "Now, we're goin' to go wif plan GTDVOOTR."

"what?"

"huh?"

"Daddy, what did the weird looking girl say?"

"I don't know, I lost her at 'G'."

Sophie rolled her eyes. "I' means 'ge' the deranged vampia's ou' on the roof.'"

"ooooooooohhh." We all said at once.

"Yea'. Now ea's wa' we're goin' to do…"

**(Jane POV)**

"EAT IT!!" man. And I thought Heidi could scream. Alice was currently standing in front of me with two pixy stix, trying to force them into my mouth.

"No, Alice." I said as firmly as I could.

"You'd better." She said.

"And if I don't?" I asked. First rule of being evil. Never show fear. Second in being captured. I was both right now.

"We wouldn't want to hurt you." She said. As she said it, she kicked out my chair leg from under me, forcing me to fall before she caught me and turned me around to look at Emmett.

"See this watermelon?" She asked as Emmett randomly pulled one out.

"Where the hell did that come from??" I asked.

"Never you mind. Now, watch." I did so as Emmett merely squeezed it and juice went everywhere. "You don't want that to be you, do you?" she asked, as I shook my head lamely.

I opened my mouth to say something, but Alice was faster. She had ripped open the stick, forced my moth open, and poured it in.

Being sugar high was awesome. At first nothing happened. Then I felt a HUGE rush of energy and started spinning around in circles.

**(Esme POV)**

I looked through the keyhole of Emmett's room. There was Bella and Alice jumping in circles, and Emmett torturing the prisoners and Jane and Felix- well… Jane and Felix were making out.

i looked at Sophie, and she nodded. I opened the door, and she crept in.

Felix stopped pulling Jane's skirt off,(she was already shirtless) Alice and Bella looked up, and as soon as Emmett saw Sophie, he shrunk into a corner.

"Erm," Sophie took in the scene around her. "I 'erd yu was ge'ing sugar high, an' I was wonderin' if I migh' join you?" She looked as sweet and as innocent as she could. She looked at all of them, skipping Jane, who was just pulling her top on.

"Awwww. OK!" Bella said and pulled out a pixie stick.

"BELLA!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Emmett screamed, and darted for the pixie stick.

"EMMETT!! What was that for?" Bella asked.

"Oh. That's Sophie the sugar high vampire slayer. She stops vampys like you and me from having fun."

"Oh… then I'm sorry, but no. you can't join."

"Emme'!! why yu got to ruin all my fun!" Sophie smiled, and pulled out her paint gun.

We all darted into the room and threw nets over the deranged vampires. They screamed.

"Oh noezzzz!! We iz trapped!!" Bella called.

"Erm, you could always cut through the net." Aro said, which received a slap on the head from Rose.

"NO!! we are trapped. Hello, have you never seen 'Fairly Odd Parents'" Bella said.

We sighed and pulled them out to the pillars in our front yard. After tying each one up, we went inside. We stayed up all night, since, you know, we couldn't sleep. We probably wouldn't be able to the way Alice and Jane kept talking to each other.

**In the morning…**

In the morning, we went to go let everyone out of their imprisonment. I heard Emmett whispering something to Jasper, but I didn't care. And then we got to Jane.

When we let Jane go, she darted to Alice and kissed her. _Right on the lips!_ And Alice kissed back! God, I hoped they were still sugar high. Once we pulled them off of each other, and untied Alice, they each squirmed free of their holders and ran to each other. Alice pulled at Jane's shirt, and she mirrored her. Felix grabbed Jane before it could go any farther, and Alice wiped her mouth.

"What the Hell was that??" Felix asked Jane.

"Alice and I started talking to each other and I realized I was in love." Jane said, misty eyed.

Alice whirled and slapped Jasper.

"And it didn't help me that this asshole was sending lust waves to me!" She screeched in his face.

"Emmett dared me to!" Jasper whined.

"Yeah, and that makes it ok." Alice said sarcastically.

Alice stormed into the house with Jasper on her heels, begging her to forgive him.

Sophie just darted off into the woods leaving a note.

_Bye! I'm sure I'll be back soon. _

_Sophie_

The wolf pack(Minus Jacob) all left, and the rest of us went back inside.

We all completely forgot about the others still stranded in the bedroom…

**Woohoo!! Tell me that was at least a **_**little **_**Better!! Come on! Please!! Whatever. I don't care… as long as you review. Love ya in a metaphorical way!**

**Bella**


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